Ahem...Dear Parents,
Wash your hands. Teach your kids to wash their hands. Donate hand-washing and facial tissue supplies to your kids' schools. Teach your kids how to cough into their sleeves and how to properly use and dispose of a tissue. Don't send your child to school when they are sick. If you do have to send your sick child, inform the teacher so that he/she can limit the other children's exposure as much as possible.
And in appreciation of your efforts we, the teachers, promise not to overtly Lysol your child's chair, pencil, crayons, scissors, rugspace, cubby, rest mat, backpack, or face in such a way as to cause irreparable damage to his/her reputation as the Nuclear Snot Monster of (insert name of school here).
Thank you.
Wednesday, 27 February 2008
Tuesday, 26 February 2008
How F*%#ed Am I?
(cue accordion and tin whistle theme music)
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to tonight's edition of "How Fucked Am I?". This wacky current events quiz has nothing to do with NPRs "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me" and everything to do with the enormous shithole that is the State of California's education budget (and no, I'm not linking anything to "education budget" because, for chrissakes, how can you NOT have heard about this already?).
Here is your first question:
The current state deficit of$14 billion $16 billion will
a) maintain the funding for my half-time, benefits ineligible teaching position
b) increase the funding for my half-time, benefits ineligible teaching position
c) totally fuck any chance I have of keeping my job
Yes, the correct answer is 'C'. My job is fucked! Let's go on to the next question:
Not being able to keep my job will mean that
a) my family will NOT be able to afford rent or health insurance
b) my family WILL be able to qualify for food stamps
c) all of the above are correct and I am totally fucked
Yes, the correct answer is 'C'. I am totally fucked!
Congratulations on a great game. Join me next time as I look back at all of the money I wasted on getting a college degree and teaching credential that I may as well wipe my ass with for all the good they are doing me now.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to tonight's edition of "How Fucked Am I?". This wacky current events quiz has nothing to do with NPRs "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me" and everything to do with the enormous shithole that is the State of California's education budget (and no, I'm not linking anything to "education budget" because, for chrissakes, how can you NOT have heard about this already?).
Here is your first question:
The current state deficit of
a) maintain the funding for my half-time, benefits ineligible teaching position
b) increase the funding for my half-time, benefits ineligible teaching position
c) totally fuck any chance I have of keeping my job
Yes, the correct answer is 'C'. My job is fucked! Let's go on to the next question:
Not being able to keep my job will mean that
a) my family will NOT be able to afford rent or health insurance
b) my family WILL be able to qualify for food stamps
c) all of the above are correct and I am totally fucked
Yes, the correct answer is 'C'. I am totally fucked!
Congratulations on a great game. Join me next time as I look back at all of the money I wasted on getting a college degree and teaching credential that I may as well wipe my ass with for all the good they are doing me now.
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