I Went to This Concert Once...

...with my friend Vince - a big old-timey country music fan - and we saw Johnny Paycheck at the Crystal Palace. This must have been 1997 or 98 and, man, that was a good show (I was still occasionally smoking Marlboro Reds back then - ah, youth - and we stopped for a fresh pack, I believe it was my last one ever, after the show). And as I was reading an article in the NY Times tonight, I was reminded of that concert and one of Johnny's famous hits. However, to write my own lyrics, I think it would be more along the lines of "take this tenure and shove it".

Now, according to these people (who are definitely knowledgeable, well-respected professionals in their field) teaching is a viable career alternative for people who are looking for a new professional start in life. Well, p'shaw!, I say. As soon as the word 'tenure' appeared, I was pissed, and here's why:

I don't understand how anyone associated with the teaching profession can dangle the "tenure" carrot in front of prospective teachers in an article and ignore the GIGANTIC sticks that are wielded by state and federal governments. There are the licensing fee schemes that would put mafia racketeers to shame, the constant vilification of you and your colleagues for all manner of failings that are outside your authority and control, and then the always sickening reality that most of your students do not have access to affordable medical, dental, and mental health services to combat the myriad effects of the garbage the USDA calls a school lunch.

Holy canoli, there are so damn many links I could possibly link to that my brain is bleeding out my eyeballs from considering all of the many aspects of graft, corruption, and nincompoopery associated with the business of recruiting, training, licensing, and retaining teachers that ARE NOT mentioned in this article.

Wait, let me calm down a minute...okay, I've lit my prayer candle with the picture of Jaime Escalante on it, have some soothing music by Coolio playing, and I have my bourbon on the rocks resting on a copy of Freedom Writers. Whew! For a minute there, the realities of teaching in the modern public school system were just too much for me. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I was going to say that there is a reason that most people don't stay in the teaching profession for more than five years but, unfortunately, my Xanax and Ambien just kicked in and I can't remember why. Oh well, I'm sure everything will be fine because, you know, I've always got tenure to look forward to.

I Can't Wait to Be Seventy...

On today's edition of Therapeutic Anger we have Mary, a septuagenarian from Tampa, Florida, who demonstrates the appropriate expression of anger in a discussion with the smarmy neocon douchebags who have delighted and profited from running our country into the ground. Note the even tone of voice, the use of analogy, and the quiet outrage that simply skewers both the host and guest on a kebab of contempt.

Bodie says that Mary is the C-SPAN equivalent (he wouldn't say equivalent - because he just told me he wouldn't - but I would, so I'm paraphrasing) of Jon Stewart on "Crossfire".

Meanwhile, I sat on the sofa, not at the table, during the last staff meeting. Trust me when I say that my anger was therapeutically expressed by my choice of seating and did not go unnoticed by at least one of my coworkers.